Most of us are familiar with how genetics affect us in the way health and illness is passed down our family tree. But what about emotional and psychological health?
According to family constellations (a type of family systems therapy), when we are born into a family, we inherit not only our biological genes, but also our belief systems and behaviour patterns. Our family is an energy field within which we are held, each in our own unique position, from the time we are born.
The family is a system of interdependent units, and what happens to one family member affects the place and function of other members. Imagine a spider web. If you were to pull on one end of the web, the whole structure would shift and take on a different shape. The family field works just like the spider web. It has its own specific, existential and historic structure, as well as its own natural order. This natural order can be disrupted and affected by: relationship of parents and grandparents, early deaths, miscarriages, abortions, adoptions, traumas, suicides, wars, having to leave one's country, religion, poverty, incest, ancestors who were victims and perpetrators, trust, betrayal, and so on. Many aboriginal cultures believe that disturbance in the family field is felt across up to seven generations.
When the natural family order is disrupted, the effects are felt by members of the family and subsequent generations, as the system tries to self-correct. In that sense, the family members become entangled in the fates of previous family members.
Take for example a woman who lived through war and became traumatized by the experience. She births a daughter, and because of her trauma, is not emotionally available when she parents her. The daughter grows up and has her own child. Because the emotional experience was not imprinted on her by her own mother, her parenting is devoid of emotional closeness and warmth. Now we have three generations affected by the original experience. The war trauma continues to be passed down.
The suffering of later family members is an attempt to restore order in the family. There is an unconscious systemic drive to repeat the occurrence, as if providing another opportunity to heal and assimilate the original experience. This, of course, can never bring things truly into order.
So what can heal this systemic and individual pain?
This is where the work of family constellations comes in, which is typically done in a group setting but can also be done individually. The work involves a physical setting up (the constellation) of the issue one is dealing with. When done in group, the constellation is set up with group members, while in individual work various objects may be used. When the constellation is set up, the group members physically stand in the family field, and information begins to arise spontaneously from the group participants’ sensations, emotions, and physical placement that sheds light on the issue being worked with. While it is helpful to know family history, it is not necessary for healing to take place.
The setting up of the constellation offers a window into the family field and the patterns within it. It allows one to see and acknowledge these patterns at their deepest level and bring about a resolution that will release the original pattern, so that order can be restored in the family field and healing can be experienced by the individual as well as the family.
According to family constellations (a type of family systems therapy), when we are born into a family, we inherit not only our biological genes, but also our belief systems and behaviour patterns. Our family is an energy field within which we are held, each in our own unique position, from the time we are born.
The family is a system of interdependent units, and what happens to one family member affects the place and function of other members. Imagine a spider web. If you were to pull on one end of the web, the whole structure would shift and take on a different shape. The family field works just like the spider web. It has its own specific, existential and historic structure, as well as its own natural order. This natural order can be disrupted and affected by: relationship of parents and grandparents, early deaths, miscarriages, abortions, adoptions, traumas, suicides, wars, having to leave one's country, religion, poverty, incest, ancestors who were victims and perpetrators, trust, betrayal, and so on. Many aboriginal cultures believe that disturbance in the family field is felt across up to seven generations.
When the natural family order is disrupted, the effects are felt by members of the family and subsequent generations, as the system tries to self-correct. In that sense, the family members become entangled in the fates of previous family members.
Take for example a woman who lived through war and became traumatized by the experience. She births a daughter, and because of her trauma, is not emotionally available when she parents her. The daughter grows up and has her own child. Because the emotional experience was not imprinted on her by her own mother, her parenting is devoid of emotional closeness and warmth. Now we have three generations affected by the original experience. The war trauma continues to be passed down.
The suffering of later family members is an attempt to restore order in the family. There is an unconscious systemic drive to repeat the occurrence, as if providing another opportunity to heal and assimilate the original experience. This, of course, can never bring things truly into order.
So what can heal this systemic and individual pain?
This is where the work of family constellations comes in, which is typically done in a group setting but can also be done individually. The work involves a physical setting up (the constellation) of the issue one is dealing with. When done in group, the constellation is set up with group members, while in individual work various objects may be used. When the constellation is set up, the group members physically stand in the family field, and information begins to arise spontaneously from the group participants’ sensations, emotions, and physical placement that sheds light on the issue being worked with. While it is helpful to know family history, it is not necessary for healing to take place.
The setting up of the constellation offers a window into the family field and the patterns within it. It allows one to see and acknowledge these patterns at their deepest level and bring about a resolution that will release the original pattern, so that order can be restored in the family field and healing can be experienced by the individual as well as the family.
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