Fear is an emotion that is designed to protect us from danger, but when it shows up as psychological worry or anxiety, it can be a paralyzing and crippling companion. 

If we think back to the caveman days, seeing a lion that is very intent on eating us would trigger fear that would then turn on the stress response (also known as fight-or-flight), which would increase the heart rate, get the blood and adrenaline pumping, and enable us to run for our life.  And when we escape the danger, the stress response is turned off and our body returns to balance.  But currently in our society we are faced with various stressors, and we tend to turn on the stress response psychologically by worrying about and fearing rejection, failure, loneliness, loss of control, misery, the unknown, dying, and so on.  The mind will often continue to keep the fear alive through thoughts of worry and anxiety, keeping the stress response turned on, which can result in the following symptoms:

·         Restlessness, being on edge

·         Being easily fatigued

·         Difficulty concentrating

·         Irritability

·         Muscle tension

·         Sleeplessness, nightmares

·         Avoidance of people, places, or situations that we fear

Sometimes the fear can be so great, that it can result in a panic attack, which can be experienced as:

·         Chest pain, pounding heart, shortness of breath

·         Chills or hot flushes

·         Fear of losing control or dying

·         Dizziness, or fainting

·         Nausea or abdominal distress

·         Sweating, trembling, or shaking

So how do we pull the plug on fear? 

By looking inside and compassionately facing the part of us that is afraid.  Sensing the fear in our bodies, feeling it, and breathing into it will cause the fear to subside.  This could also be a great time to write out an inventory of our fears, noticing if there are any themes or links, particularly to our early development or family of origin.  Sometimes the seeds of fear are planted early on, and it takes awareness in the present moment to dissolve them.    

If you try the above approach and still find yourself stuck in the fear cycle, you may want to consider clinical counselling, which has been proven to free people from fear and anxiety.

Guilt is one of the more destructive emotions which we can get caught up in, leaving us with nagging thoughts of self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness.  We typically experience guilt if we have gone against our own truth, or have wronged another. 

Guilt can feel like a rock on our chest, and feelings of guilt often include replaying a situation over and over in our heads, which can lead to obsessive thinking, anxiety, and self punishment.

While we all long to be better, more loving and authentic people, getting caught in a cycle of guilt can lead to despair and loss of clarity. 

If you find yourself feeling guilty, here are some suggestions for dealing with guilt:

·         Take a moment to write out the guilty thoughts and feelings you’re experiencing in the present moment.  Write out the self talk exactly as it happens without censoring what you write. 

·         Once you have emptied those thoughts and feelings onto the page, read over what you wrote to get a sense of how you make yourself feel guilty.  Do you recognize the voice on the page as your own, or perhaps it belongs to a parent, or another authority figure?  We often unconsciously internalize values that belong to our parents, or the collective social or religious systems.

·         If you feel that you have wronged another, consider apologizing to them.  Speak from the heart.  If speaking is difficult, consider writing a letter. 

·         If you have wronged yourself, perhaps you need to forgive yourself for placing unrealistic expectations on your situation.  We all go astray from time to time.  Learn from it, let go of the negative feelings, and use the lesson not to make the same mistake again.

If you try the above approach and still find yourself stuck in the guilt cycle, you may want to consider clinical counselling, which has been proven to help people through guilt and other limiting experiences.

Many of the modern gurus such as Deepak Chopra and Eckhart Tolle suggest that in order to grow and be happy we need to let go of negative thoughts, expectations, guilt, our past, and so on, and come into the present moment.  The idea of letting go is not new and it originates from the ancient Buddhist concept of non-attachment: a state of being free of desire and suffering, which leads to higher consciousness and ultimately enlightenment.

One of my favourite explanations of letting go comes from the Osho Zen Tarot deck.  The image on the card (pictured above) is of lotus leaves in the early morning. 

We can see in the rippling of the water that one drop has just fallen.  It is a precious moment, and one that is full of poignancy.  In surrendering to gravity and slipping off the leaf, the drop loses its previous identity and joins the vastness of the water below.  We can imagine that it must have trembled before it fell, just on the edge between the known and the unknowable.

To choose this card is a recognition that something is finished, something is completing.  Whatever it is – a job, a relationship, a home you have loved, anything that might have helped you to define who you are – it is time to let go of it, allowing any sadness but not trying to hold on.  Something greater is awaiting you, new dimensions are there to be discovered.  You are past the point of no return now, and gravity is doing its work.  Go with it – it represents liberation. (p.112)

As beautiful as the above description is, letting go is sometimes easier said than done, and I am often asked by clients how to let go of their negative thoughts and behavior patterns when they are aware of them, yet struggle to release them. 

When we have had an experience of wounding in our past – whether emotional, psychological, physical, or sexual – that has not been healed, the remnants of that experience continue to live in our unconscious and our body, and affect the way we perceive reality.  It’s like wearing a pair of glasses that affects what we see and how we make meaning out of it. 

To let go of thoughts, behvaiours, and feelings that have their roots in the original wounding experience, the past needs to be released safely and compassionately in order for healing to take place.  Once we work with the roots of what set the suffering in motion, the practice of letting go becomes a way of being.

The heart is recognized by many of the world’s ancient civilizations as a key centre and source of wisdom, spirit, and positive emotions such as love and compassion.  The sense of I dwells in the heart and notice that most of us point to the chest when we say I. The heart is where we experience the consciousness of who we truly are.  In that sense, the heart can be thought of as a physical and spiritual vessel that holds our true self, our essence, our true identity.

By opening or connecting with our heart, we connect with and live from our true self.  We live authentically.  A connection with the heart or heart opening as it is often called, means uniting one’s awareness with the heart and allowing oneself to directly experience the full spectrum of emotions, thoughts, and sensations arising in the present moment with unconditional love and acceptance of the self. 

Physically, heart opening is often experienced as openness, lightness, and expansion in the centre of the chest where the spiritual heart is said to be located (the heart chakra).  When our heart is awakened and open, we experience inner freedom and spontaneity manifested in softness, aliveness and gracefulness of the body.  We are free from shame, guilt, and self-consciousness. 

Many people are not able to perceive this heart opening however, and instead feel a contraction in the centre of their chest, or a closed heart, which is related to mental, emotional, and physical forms of suffering.  The heart is never actually closed and it continues to radiate the energy of life and love, but this energy along with the true self ends up buried under layers of tension of unexpressed feelings, fears and experiences from our past and present.  Because of hurtful experiences, inner walls are often unconsciously erected as a way of coping and protecting the heart.  When this happens, we tend to be reactive and hang on to our hurt. We end up living in a more contracted way as we close ourselves off from not only feeling pain, but also joy and love.

If you would like to develop a deeper connection with your heart and live more authentically, spend a few minutes each day resting in the heart.  Find a moment to sit comfortably, close your eyes, and place your hands over the center of your chest.  Breathe into the heart center and allow any tensions to melt away.  Come to rest in your heart.

Most of us are familiar with how genetics affect us in the way health and illness is passed down our family tree.  But what about emotional and psychological health?

According to family constellations (a type of family systems therapy), when we are born into a family, we inherit not only our biological genes, but also our belief systems and behaviour patterns.  Our family is an energy field within which we are held, each in our own unique position, from the time we are born. 

The family is a system of interdependent units, and what happens to one family member affects the place and function of other members.  Imagine a spider web.  If you were to pull on one end of the web, the whole structure would shift and take on a different shape.  The family field works just like the spider web.  It has its own specific, existential and historic structure, as well as its own natural order.  This natural order can be disrupted and affected by: relationship of parents and grandparents, early deaths, miscarriages, abortions, adoptions, traumas, suicides, wars, having to leave one's country, religion, poverty, incest, ancestors who were victims and perpetrators, trust, betrayal, and so on.  Many aboriginal cultures believe that disturbance in the family field is felt across up to seven generations.

When the natural family order is disrupted, the effects are felt by members of the family and subsequent generations, as the system tries to self-correct.  In that sense, the family members become entangled in the fates of previous family members.

Take for example a woman who lived through war and became traumatized by the experience.  She births a daughter, and because of her trauma, is not emotionally available when she parents her.  The daughter grows up and has her own child.  Because the emotional experience was not imprinted on her by her own mother, her parenting is devoid of emotional closeness and warmth.  Now we have three generations affected by the original experience.  The war trauma continues to be passed down. 

The suffering of later family members is an attempt to restore order in the family.  There is an unconscious systemic drive to repeat the occurrence, as if providing another opportunity to heal and assimilate the original experience.  This, of course, can never bring things truly into order.    

So what can heal this systemic and individual pain?

This is where the work of family constellations comes in, which is typically done in a group setting but can also be done individually.  The work involves a physical setting up (the constellation) of the issue one is dealing with.  When done in group, the constellation is set up with group members, while in individual work various objects may be used.  When the constellation is set up, the group members physically stand in the family field, and information begins to arise spontaneously from the group participants’ sensations, emotions, and physical placement that sheds light on the issue being worked with.  While it is helpful to know family history, it is not necessary for healing to take place.

The setting up of the constellation offers a window into the family field and the patterns within it.  It allows one to see and acknowledge these patterns at their deepest level and bring about a resolution that will release the original pattern, so that order can be restored in the family field and healing can be experienced by the individual as well as the family.

You’ve probably heard of mindfulness.  But what exactly is it and how can it lead to emotional and physical wellbeing?

Mindfulness is the ancient Buddhist practice of being fully aware of the present moment with all of one’s being.  It is the conscious directing of our attention to the here and now. 

Let’s try a quick mindfulness experiment.  I’ll invite you to bring your awareness to the experience of reading this article.  If you are currently sitting down, shift your attention to your body and notice how it makes contact with the chair.  Do you notice any points of pressure?  If you are reading this standing on the skytrain, or crowded bus, notice your posture.  Is your body comfortable?  Where are your feet?  What do you notice about your breath?  What are the sensations in your body?  How do you feel in this moment?  Expanded, contracted, sad, happy, curious?

Our culture and daily rhythm is fast-paced and outward focused.  This can lead to feelings of disconnection, stress, anxiety, depression, and so on.  By purposely bringing our awareness to the present moment, we slow down the pace and bring our attention inwards.  When we do that, we may notice emotional or physical pain in our bodies.  If we stay with what unfolds in the here and now without judgment, the act of observation will transform that which we are observing.  For example, if we are aware that we are sad, we observe and allow the experience of sadness.  This may lead to tears, or sobs, followed by peace and calmness.  Being present with what is may not always be pleasant, but the practice of allowing the present moment experience will deepen our self-acceptance and lead to a more grounded, peaceful, and joyful inner self. 

Awareness itself has the power to bring about healing and transformation, and mindfulness practice is currently being used as a treatment for anxiety, depression, substance use, trauma, stress, heart disease, chronic pain, and insomnia.    

If you would like to enhance your emotional and physical wellbeing and deepen your self-awareness, below is a simple practice that you can try on your own.  It is important that you practice mindfulness with an attitude of openness, curiosity, and non-judgment.  If judgments arise, notice them without identifying with them.  And if your attention wanders, gently bring it back to the present moment.

You can choose to do this practice in sequence, or you can pick what resonates with you.  Feel free to experiment.  Also, the practice can be done by formally sitting down in meditation, or being mindful of the present moment anytime, anywhere, during your daily activities. You can use a calendar or a reminder in your phone that prompts you to notice the present moment.  I’ve also found it helpful to use an object like a small stone that you can put on your desk or in your pocket to remind you to be mindful.

·         Mindfulness of breath: Begin by bringing your focus to your breath.  Notice how you breathe in and out in this moment.  Notice the wind of the breath at the nostrils, how it fills your chest and belly.  Is your breath deep or shallow, easy or labored?

·         Mindfulness of body, sensations and emotions: Bring your awareness into your body.  Scan your body from head down to feet, or from feet up to head.  What do you notice as you breathe into your body?  Are there sensations or emotions in your body that you are you aware of?  Breathe into them and observe them without judgment.  If strong or unpleasant emotions surface, breathe through them and stay grounded.  Emotions come in waves and will naturally lose their intensity as one breathes through them.  It is important to be in a safe place when practicing mindfulness of emotions.

·         Mindfulness of movement: Notice your feet as you’re walking.  How do they make contact with the earth?  Notice your posture as you sit, walk, stand.  Notice the body’s movement as you practice yoga or dance.

·         Mindfulness of thoughts: Bring your focus to your mind.  Become aware of your thoughts.  What is the inner self talk?  Observe your thoughts without identifying with them – as if you are watching clouds passing in the sky.  Try journaling, or stream of consciousness writing where you allow the hand to write without censoring or editing.   

·         Mindfulness of the 5 senses: Take an orange, or a fruit that you like.  Hold it in your hands.  Notice how it makes contact with your skin.  Notice the color and texture of the fruit.  Notice how it smells.  Slowly begin to peel it.  Be aware of the sound of peeling.  Is your mouth watering?  Slowly place a piece of fruit in your mouth.  Close your eyes.  Notice.  Slowly chew the fruit in silence.  Practice mindful eating and notice all the colors, sounds, smells, tastes, sensations, thoughts and feelings that are present.

The practice of mindfulness has been proven to reduce stress and anxiety, increase self-awareness, self-acceptance, personal power and resources, and bring about more meaning and life satisfaction.  Through awareness, habitual patterns become visible and we can chose to respond in the old patterned way, or consciously chose to live from our most authentic self.

If you try mindfulness and find the thoughts, emotions, or body sensations to be overwhelming or upsetting, I encourage you to seek support with your practice as certain physical, emotional, and sexual wounding experiences tend to be stored physically in the body and are likely to surface when our attention is brought inwards.  With the help of a trained therapist, mindfulness can be used to heal our physical and emotional pain, and bring about the experience of peace and happiness within us.

Have you ever wondered what it takes to make relationships work? 

According to leading couples therapy experts and social psychologists, emotional responsiveness is key to creating loving and lasting relationships.  Emotional responsiveness refers to the ability to express emotions freely and openly, to respond to another person with warmth, emotional and physical closeness, and to be able to form close, trusting, loving, and intimate bonds with others.

Research shows that relationships fail not because of increasing conflict, but because of decreasing affection and emotional responsiveness.

Our own experience as a baby with our mother (or primary caregiver) provides the blueprint for how emotionally responsive we become as adults.  Loving contact is critical to healthy emotional development, and if the caregiver responds with safe emotional and physical closeness, the individual will develop a healthy and secure sense of self and be comfortable with intimacy and deep affectional bonds. If on the other hand, the child does not receive this safe loving contact, or is affected by traumatic experiences which threaten the sense of self, the individual will likely be troubled by emotional wariness, lack of trust, defensiveness, fear of abandonment, and so on.  Also, he/she may unknowingly look to the partner to fulfill that emotional hunger of childhood. 

If you’d like to get a sense of how emotionally responsive you are (or have been) in your relationships, I invite you to reflect on:

·         How comfortable you are with closeness and intimacy

·         How comfortable you are depending on others

·         How much you worry about being abandoned or not loved

Loving contact is as important as nutrition, and adults need it as much as babies.  When our partner is there for us, when we have emotional and physical closeness, trust, and the sense that our partner’s got our back, this sense of security will allow us to reach out and connect easily with our lover.  When our partner is emotionally unavailable or unresponsive, on the other hand, we will feel alone, sad, hurt, angry, and afraid.  Losing the connection to a loved one jeopardizes our sense of security and sets off fear – our built in alarm system that goes off when our survival is threatened.  Those of us who have developed a secure bond with our caregivers are usually able to shake off this fear more easily and ask for reassurance.  For those of us with weaker bonds or trauma, the sense of fear and insecurity can be overwhelming and may manifest as anxiety, anger, control, clinginess, or distancing.  It’s important to recognize that underneath these manifestations is a longing for safety and connection.  

Being unsure of our connection to our partner often sets in motion a negative spiral of relating.

An example of this would be the classic pattern of distancer-pursuer where partner A feeling the need for connection reaches out and perhaps says “I need more closeness”.  If partner B is not comfortable with more closeness, he/she is likely to perceive this need as “neediness” and distance him/herself.  The distancing will cause partner A to continue to pursue partner B for more closeness, and partner B to continue to distance.  And on it goes.  The longer partners feel disconnected, the more negative their interactions will become. 

If you find yourself in such a situation, the first step in breaking this negative cycle is to recognize that you are in it, and to look below the surface at the needs or fears that may be driving your behavior.  Notice the times when you do not feel safely connected to your partner.  And when you feel this disconnection, what do you tend to do?  How do you cope with disconnection?  By complaining, zoning out, running away, ignoring, blaming, being angry, eating, etc? 

Once you have identified what you tend to do and how you do it, share it with your partner in an open, honest and non-blaming way.  For example, “the more I ____, the more you ____, and the more I ____ and round we go”.  “What I need is ____.  I fear that ___ and I do ___ when I’m afraid.”  Take turns with your partner to express your needs and fears.  Sharing with each other in this way can be a very intimate and bonding experience.

Our loved one is our shelter in life, and the ultimate remedy for disconnection is to establish a sense of safe connection.  Once you begin to notice the cycles of disconnection and communicate about them, you begin to reconnect!

If you try this and find it difficult to hold these conversations on your own, you may want to try couples counselling as it has been proven to help couples shift from the negative spiral of disconnection to a new level of understanding, intimacy and love.

As 2013 begins, many of us are busy planning, setting intentions and resolutions for this new cycle.  But what is the secret behind manifesting those intentions in our physical reality?

The clue to this question lies in what has been called the law of attraction.  While this law has been quite prominent in our popular culture, it is not new.  In fact, it can be traced back to the ancient Eastern and Judeo-Christian spiritual traditions.   According to this law, we tend to manifest that which we focus on – consciously or unconsciously.  To put more simply, thoughts become things.  So, if we spend most of our time dwelling on fear, failure, catastrophy, criticism, etc., we are likely to manifest more of that in our lives.  If, on the other hand, we focus on compassion, gratitude, and abundance we will magnetize more compassion, gratitude, and abundance into our lives. 

A word of caution here: many have mistakenly taken the law of attraction too literally and sit on the couch repeating positive affirmations with little or no results.  To manifest, we need to get off the fear couch and start to move towards our intention, even if we are uncertain of what that direction may be.  Mike Dooley uses a great metaphor of MapQuest’s GPS system to explain this.  He says that MapQuest (the Universe) knows our current location, so what we need to do is tell it the address of where we want to go (this is the intention), get our car in gear (get off the couch), and start driving in any direction (take steps towards our goal). As soon as our car is moving, MapQuest will respond and guide us in the right direction given our desired address.  Even if we unknowingly set off in a wrong direction, the system will immediately warn us and tell us to turn around through various signs and people that will deliver the warning.  If we trust, stay open and positive, the Universe will guide us to the right and best path for us.  Now, if we become negative or don’t get off the couch and get moving, we are not likely to manifest the desired change.

So if you are feeling ready to manifest, here are some simple steps I find effective:   

• Ask yourself: ‘If I could change one thing in my life that would really make a difference, what would it be?’
• Point that question in the direction of your relationships (intimate, friends, family), health, finances, profession, life purpose, joy, happiness, or wherever you want to affect change.
• Set your intentions by actually writing down those desires in the present tense as if you have already achieved them.  For example, if you are physically sick, your intention could be: ‘I am healthy and full of vitality’
• Be honest with your intentions and set them in alignment with your inner truth.  Your intentions need to focus on you!  We cannot change others.  Does your intention feel right to you?  Check in with your heart, your gut, or your 6th sense.
• Once you have your intention, visualize what the desired change would look and feel like – engage your senses.  Using the example above, the visualization could be seeing yourself healthy, glowing, full of energy and vitality, strength, and feeling those qualities in your body as you are visualizing.
• Take a step in any direction.  For the example above this could mean going for a walk, seeing a health practitioner, reading a book on healing, taking deep breaths, etc.  A step can be anything.  Once you begin taking steps, the Universe will guide you to the best healing modality for you.  For example, while you are on your walk, you could meet a person that is a healer, or may know of someone or something that will help you heal.
• Trust and stay open to possibilities – your intentions may manifest in ways you have not anticipated.
• Stay positive and don’t give into negative thoughts, doubt, fear.  Don’t forget that thoughts become things, so be mindful of your thoughts.
• Take a few minutes every day to connect to your intention, visualize and feel your intention manifesting.  Keep taking those steps and follow the path as it unfolds.
• Practice gratitude at each step.    

When you follow this practice with trust and openness, you have the power to change your life.

If you try this process and find yourself discouraged, or taken over by fear or doubt that you can’t lift out of, I encourage you to reflect on how your thoughts are limiting and stopping you.  Sometimes the early conditioning that we inevitably receive through our family and society can become quite engrained in the fabric of our lives.  Examples of this conditioning include: ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘Life is hard’, ‘I don’t deserve to be happy.’  Counselling and therapy have been helpful in unraveling and releasing those limiting threads, thereby creating space for change to manifest.

With the lack of sun and our damp cold climate many of us may be feeling sluggish, under the weather, or downright depressed.  Seasonal affective disorder (SAD), more commonly known as the winter blues, is a type of winter depression that affects 5-10% of the population, with higher prevalence rates at higher latitudes. 

Common symptoms of SAD include:

• Sadness, anxiety, irritability
• Fatigue or loss of energy
• Loss of interest in usual activities
• Withdrawal
• Difficulty concentrating
• Increased appetite and weight gain

To alleviate symptoms and keep the blues away:

• Spend some time outdoors everyday, even if it’s rainy or cloudy
• Get enough rest and sleep
• Stay active and try exercising for 30 minutes a day, three times per week
• Stay involved with your social circle and regular activities
• Eat a well balanced diet
• Consider Vitamin D supplements
• Use light therapy (a special full spectrum light that mimics the sun)
• Seek professional counselling

What I find personally effective is to literally warm up:

• Cook a hearty soup
• Have some hot tea
• Take a bath with some invigorating essential oils (citrus, peppermint, or patchouli)
• Go to the sauna or steamroom
• Take a hot yoga class
• Create a cozy and warm environment in your home with candle light, soft music, spicy incense, and warm blankets  

If your symptoms persist or become severe, please consult your healthcare professional.  Clinical counselling has been proven to benefit those experiencing SAD or depression.

The shorter days and growing darkness of fall are a natural time for reflection and work with our own inner darkness: our shadow. 

What is the Shadow?

According to depth psychology, the shadow is that part of us that we do not see or know, the part which is unconscious.  Its counterpart is the light and conscious side of us.  While the shadow contains positive aspects such as unconscious inner wisdom, it is most often seen as negative as it is the storehouse for all those unwanted aspects of our personality that we disown, as well as emotions, thoughts, desires, and experiences that we reject.  We all carry a shadow within us and the less we are aware of it, the denser and blacker it will be.  The shadow manifests in various ways: as a low sense of self, loneliness, boredom, lack of meaning, psychosomatic illness, anxiety, depression, or nightmares.  If the shadow accumulates enough energy, it may erupt in an overpowering rage or a breakdown, or we may suddenly storm out of a job, breakup a relationship, or have an accident that seems to have its own purpose.

How the Shadow Originates

All of us are born whole, but early on in our life journeys we are exposed to a culture that divides things into good and bad, and we begin our shadow-making process. We live in a culture that overvalues the mind while it tends to repress behaviour and emotions.  Children are socialized to be “good” and end up having to constrict their feelings and way of being.  For girls and women, the culture mandates that they become beautiful, slim, submissive, vulnerable, maternal yet sexual.  Women are socialized not to express feelings of anger, while men are taught to suppress sadness and fear.  We are all probably familiar with the saying boys don’t cry.  Men’s self-esteem in our culture is based on achievement, having power over others, stoicism, and strength regardless of life difficulties. 

By the time we arrive at adulthood we have a clearly defined shadow which has accumulated our society’s system of right and wrong, and our subsequent experiences that we have hidden away from ourselves based on this value system. 

The Path to Wholeness

Shadow work releases and integrates the energy that has been bound up in the darkness.  It has the potential to bring more joy into our lives, renew our sense of meaning and purpose, and create a more authentic, enjoyable, and balanced inner and outer world.    

Wholeness is created by bringing the light of conscious awareness to our shadow.  The place where light and dark begin to touch is where healing takes place.  Awareness is the state of being fully present in the here and now.  By observing ourselves consciously – our thoughts, emotions, behaviours, sensations, the words we use – we become aware of our shadow.  Yoga and meditation are great for cultivating this present moment awareness. 

If you are reading this right now and would like to experience this awareness, simply bring your attention inwards.  What do you notice as you scan your body?  Is there an experience of expansion, or tightness, or perhaps a feeling will be present, or an image will spring forth.  What is occupying your mind right now?  Is there a thought that perhaps keeps circling in your head?  Take a moment and notice – it may help if you close your eyes. 

So what happens if, for example, you become aware of sadness that resides in your chest?  If you are in a safe place, allow yourself to feel the sadness without judgement and express it in a way that feels most natural to you in the moment – by shedding tears, by dancing, drawing, sculpting, writing, or however it wants to be expressed.  Allow yourself to be creative and to be guided by your inner wisdom.  It is very important that the expression of any emotion or shadow material that arises be done in a way that is safe and compassionate, and does not harm you or others.  Also, if you are ready to embark on a deeper shadow process, or if you have a history of abuse or trauma, please seek the help of a professional that can guide you and hold space for you safely.    

By practicing awareness and allowing the space for what naturally wants to come up to surface we are embracing our shadow and expanding our light.  This process makes the unconscious conscious and the integration that is created produces a light that has no shadow, no opposite.  Since shadow and light come from the same source, when we transcend this duality within us of right and wrong, light and shadow, we reach a place of oneness, of union, of ananda or bliss.  Embracing our shadow is a profound spiritual discipline and a lifelong evolutionary journey.